I kickbox three times a week, in the early morning. In fact, I usually open up the place with the owner/trainer and his son. I like the feeling of upping my energy level (and earning my breakfast). And it’s too hot later on anyway.
Every time I come out of the gym, around 6:40 a.m. or so, I see an older model Lincoln pull into a handicapped parking spot not far from where I am parked. Two men get out and walk slowly towards the breakfast/lunch joint a few doors down. The passenger is an older man, white-haired, leaning slightly on a cane for support. The younger man has a mid-thigh to mid-calf knee brace and has a stilted gait, but he’s obviously the one getting out of the driver’s seat. They maneuver close together, not helping each other, yet close enough just in case, through the lot and onto the sidewalk without issue like they’ve done this a lot.
I’ve never been close enough to hear any conversation between the two, but I suspect there isn’t a need for much talk. Father and son, perhaps? Widower and other relative, or a professional caretaker? I asked my trainer about them, and while he had seen them, he confessed knowing nothing about them, other than an obvious fondness for the breakfast a few doors down.
I like to observe the active commiseration between people. I only wish there was more of it. I met up with a friend last weekend; our first stop was a gun show (My initial visit to such an event and for now, let’s just say it was a cultural experience I’d never had before and will write about in detail later) and then went out for lunch. Just two of us in a booth, no cell phones in use (he does keep his out because he has a teenage daughter out in the world) eating, drinking, and talking about pretty much anything. I looked around and saw groups at tables where no one was talking to anyone else, but everyone was staring at their phone screens.
I have a question. Why do you go out with others, only to sit and stare at a screen?
Didn’t we spend too much time doing this isolated during the worst of the pandemic? Did we get so awful at the art of conversation that we can no longer account for ourselves as social beings? Is the screen easier because it doesn’t argue, answer back, or disagree with what you say, think, or do? Or is it time to ditch the old social circle and find or build a new one?
I hope those two breakfast buddies are together because they want to be, and it’s not done out of obligation or lack of other options. I hope their time together isn’t about just tea or coffee, toast or biscuit, over easy or fried eggs. Connection via conversation means eye contact, sharp listening, providing a safe space without assumptions, hearing the meaning in the words, and responding with words that show you heard them and want to hear more. And unless it’s an emergency call, no phones are allowed.
Old Is Serious...Aging Is Hilarious 