Leggings For All? I’ll Leave Them To All Of You

Winter finally arrived in my stretch of the woods. And out came the women in leggings. No pun intended, but it’s fine if you read it that way.

Leggings are such a fashion oddity. They seemed to have morphed from the black tights we wore back in the winter days of my Dark Ages youth, somehow meeting up with cycling shorts and giving birth to the much-loved (or reviled) wardrobe wizard that was meant to be worn for workout classes, running, and yoga, but trended into a constant in the closet.

As you’ve guessed, I am not a fan of myself encased in leggings. My legs are really short (and don’t start with me about how higher heels lengthen my legs. Those would have to be eight-inch heels in order to make a difference) and while my badonkadonk isn’t bodaciously big, it sits atop those stump legs and makes leggings look like I’m trying to contain the remains of a septic system gone south.

That’s not to say I don’t own tights. I do own a pair of black and scarlet cold-weather running tights, which are out and ready in anticipation of a chilly morning run tomorrow. But I wear them only for running or underneath cycling shorts when it is cold. I am not wearing them anywhere else in public. No one deserves to see that.

And while I do see women who look fab in the winter combo of leggings and knee-high boots, and I think that by a certain age and stage in life, you should be proud and happy to wear what you want and present the proverbial middle finger to the world that says otherwise, I also believe in self-respect and honesty. Not to mention having a full-length mirror in your house. So before you tug on those tiger-striped leggings and shiny, skinny-heeled boots, ask yourself: do I look hot, or do I look desperate? Am I proud of this outfit, or would my pride be better served if I either donated this ensemble or stashed it until next Halloween?

Aging gracefully isn’t about getting too old for a particular “look.” It is about knowing when that look crosses over from “Well, hello beautiful” to “Oh, hell no.” And then how to update that look so it works. Or pack it up and send it to the nearest vintage clothing shop.

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